Bloody Birthday (1981)

Bloody Birthday cover

The slasher genre began with a weird holiday theme, which luckily fell by the wayside. But think about it: Black Christmas, Halloween, Friday the 13th, My Bloody Valentine… Bloody Birthday is a lesser known early, holiday-themed slasher, and for good reason. It’s pretty terrible. Bloody Birthday begins at Meadowvale General Hospital, in June of 1970. While we watch a total eclipse, we listen to the birth of three children. Delightful. The film proper begins in Meadowvale cemetery ten years later. A couple of horny “teenagers” are fooling around, but the girl doesn’t want to go all the way, because...

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Atrocious (2010)

Atrocious cover

Atrocious relied upon a thin found-footage premise to bolster up its likewise thin plot. If you can’t guess from my tone, the results weren’t spectacular. But neither were they...

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Breaking Dawn (2004)

breaking dawn cover

I can’t tell you how pissed off I was when I realized this wasn’t the hunk-fest Twilight sequel. Anyway. Breaking Dawn aims high, but falls far short. In being...

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Warlock (1989)

Warlock cover

I thought Warlock looked cool and scary when it came out. However, I was 9 years old. By the time I was old enough to watch it, I thought...

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Wake Wood (2011)

Wake Wood cover

The Brits seem to have really embraced how creepy their pagan history can be. Between Wake Wood and Kill List, you almost appreciate the invasion of Christianity. It’s never...

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Phase 7 (2011)

Phase 7 cover

Phase 7 is an entertaining, if not very original, epidemic flick. However, because it’s not a product of Hollywood, but instead Argentina, even though it follows a pretty standard...

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The Violent Kind (2010)

The Violent Kind Cover

The Violent Kind has some interesting components that are carelessly mashed together into a sort of glorious mess. You rarely see such a dramatic mix of competence and incompetence....

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We Hurt for You

When it comes to horror movies, Netflix Instant can seem like the new straight-to-video. Let Alan Ryker, his pughuameranian Chewie, and the occasional guest reviewer do the dirty work for you, digging through the muck on Netflix Instant, Amazon Instant and Hulu to find the hidden horror gems.